How did it come to this?
by montez
Summary: This came to me out of my own fears. How would we each cope, would the strong become weak and the weak become strong? or would we all just fall apart?
1. Chapter 1

How Did It Come To This?

By: Montez

Disclaimer: I keep hoping, but it just ain't happening. I still don't own them.

He slowly, gradually opened his eyes. Blurry, at first, his vision soon cleared as his hearing decided to return as well. The first thing he noticed was a squirrel curiously watching him from the edge of the roof. Seeing he was not a threat it soon scampered off out of his line of sight. He tried turning his head to follow its movements, but spots danced in his vision, as pain, he hadn't initially been aware of, assaulted every fiber of his being.

He laid there, blinking at the clear, cloudless, blue sky that floated above him, chastising himself for getting into this situation. Trying to take a deep breath to begin an inventory of his injuries, he soon found what was going to be number one on his list: "_hurts like hell to breathe!"._ Not since he had regained consciousness had he felt panic, until now; not being able to breathe increased his heart rate, which in turn did what? Made him breathe faster, translation: _More pain._

He knew he was alone. Having no idea when someone would come looking for him, he tried to will himself to calm down. He didn't want to pass out for fear of not waking up again. It was then he heard a sound that was like a lifeline; now if they would just quickly find him he figured he at least wouldn't die alone. That was a real fear at this point, his chest continuing to flair with pain at its inability to work properly.

Hearing two doors slam shut he thought, knowing his death was imminent, _"At least they're both here, they'll help each other through this." _The slamming of the front door heralded their entrance into the house, _"Now if they'll just make their way into the kitchen, they might…" _The voices grew closer as they filtered through the open kitchen window.

"Let me run out to the garage and grab that file for you." The familiar sound of his youngest voice brought tears to his eyes. "_How is this going to affect him?" _Lying on the surprisingly warm ground he remembered the months of self-imposed isolation Charlie had put himself--as well as the family--through during Margaret's last months. He prayed his son would not loose himself again.

"Hold up Chuck let me grab a water and I'll come with you. You want one? Hey where's Dad today, Isn't that his cars out front?" Hearing his eldest's voice brought pride to his soul. _"Have I ever really told him how proud of him I am?" _Don had stuck to his convictions joining the FBI, even amid his parents vehement protests. He knew he would be good at it and that he was. The family had to learn to assimilate the constant fear and worry that every family of law enforcement personnel did. However, he knew Don was good at his job as were the people with whom he worked. They would help his eldest through this, who then in turn would help his youngest.

"Stop calling me Chuck." Charlie's voice was nearer the door now. "Yeah grab me one too. I don't know where…" Don's attention was immediately drawn to his brother as Charlie's voice stopped; mid-sentence. Charlie was standing part-way out the back door , as if frozen in time. Don closed the refrigerator door and walked toward his little brother. Uneasiness crept into Don's soul at the horrified expression on Charlie's face.

As Charlie had opened the back door, he quickly noticed the over-turned ladder on the ground next to the garage. His heart constricted as his eyes were drawn to the still figure lying next to it. Don approached his brothers side, trying to see what had caused the soul-chilling look on his little brother's face. As Don stepped past Charlie, through the open door, his mind was thrown into overdrive as he processed the scene before him. He never realized he had left the porch until he was halfway across the yard. "DAD!"

His older brother's panicked yell snapped Charlie from his trance as he automatically grabbed the phone from the base next to the back door. His fingers found the magic numbers that would summon help, as he too crossed the yard, just behind his brother. Don dropped to his knees next to his father. Relief to see the older man's eyes open soon gave way to fear as it occurred to him that his father hadn't moved, or said a word in response to his voice.

"Dad?" Don's tone was gentle, but frantic, "Dad, can you hear me? Can you tell me what happened? What hurts?" Don watched as Alan closed his eyes, tears slipping from the corners. Slowly opening them again Alan looked at Don. Alan wanted so much to tell his son how proud he was of him, to tell him not to worry, things would work out, but he didn't have the strength or breath. He hoped he was conveying it through his eyes. He hated to worry his sons.

Alan's eyes moved to Charlie, who had emerged from the garage with a hand full of bath towel from the dryer, he had been unable to find a blanket. Quickly Charlie dropped on the other side of his father. Looking into Alan's pain-filled face nearly took Charlie's breath, so he frantically started covering his father with the towels.

Don quickly noticed the labored breathing in his father's chest and panic reached further as he mentally started running through all the possibilities of what could be happening. Neither son noticed their father's slight movements until each felt Alan's hand brush against their legs. Don and Charlie, both, quickly, but gently grabbed their father's hands, not raising them for fear of further injuring him. They each felt a tender squeeze in return. They watched as Alan struggled for air, opening then closing his mouth. Attempting to lick his now-dry lips he opened it again as if to speak. Each son leaned in closer, so their father wouldn't have to strain. The words Alan whispered sent ice through Don's and Charlie's souls as they felt their father's grip go slack and his eyes close.

"Love…you…both."

_A/N: Should I go on or leave it like this? I do have ideas, but I'm not sure._


	2. Chapter 2

How Did It Come To This?

By: Montez

Part-2

See disclaimer on part 1.

A/N: This part is very emotional. I just wanted to give a heads-up on that. Thanks again for reading.--Montez

"DAD!…DAD!" Don yelled as his father's eyes closed and Alan's hand went limp. The three words whispered hung in the air, ripping at the hearts and souls of both boys.

"Don?" Charlie's fear-laced voice was asking, in just the saying of his brother's name, what both of them needed, but at the same time were afraid, to know.

Don reached a shaking hand toward his father's neck. "There's a pulse! God, Dad!"

"He's not breathing!" Charlie's frantic comment pulled Don's eyes from his father's lax face to his still chest. No longer concerned with the possibility of causing his father further injury, as much as he was with loosing his father, Don tilted Alan's head back; pinching his nose, he quickly blew in two breaths. Charlie watched as Alan's chest rose and fell with each breath.

Don continued for what seemed like an eternity until he heard the approaching sirens. Glancing at Charlie between breaths he all-but shouted, "Go flag them down!"

Charlie didn't move, transfixed by his father's pale face. _"Is that how mom looked at the end?" _his racing mind wondered.

"CHARLIE!" Jumping at the raised sound of his brother's raised voice Charlie looked up, meeting two tear-filled, pleading eyes. "Go flag them down!" Don bent again to give his father much-needed air.

Finally hearing the approaching ambulance Charlie looking back one last time at his brother's bent back and his father's still form, then jumped up, running down the drive to meet the EMTs. As he rounded the corner of the house, they were emerging from the rig, grabbing their gear. "Please…hurry, he's back here!" Charlie turned back down the driveway as the medics fell in behind him.

The medics and their equipment dropped next to Alan, while one was gently easing don aside and inserting a breathing tube the other questioned Charlie. "What's his name? Age? What happened?"

"Our Dad…" Charlie's voice stumbled slightly, "Alan, Alan Eppes. He's 70. We…we just found him…maybe he fell?" Charlie glanced from his father to the over-turned ladder as the paramedics continued working.

"Alan can you hear me? Can you squeeze my hand?" Getting no response the EMT glanced again at Charlie. "Do you know how long he's been unconscious?"

"Just a few minutes…not long." Charlie looked toward Don for affirmation of what he was saying, but was shocked to see his brother motionless, on his knees at their father's feet, tears running down his face as he watched someone else forcing air into his father's still chest.

The medics continued to work. "Any history of medical problems; heart attack, stroke?"

Charlie looked dumbfounded, "What? No…no Dad's healthy. Not even colds."

They continued working, flawlessly preparing Alan for transport, cervical collar and backboard firmly in place. Alan was then quickly loaded onto the stretcher and moved toward the ambulance. Charlie followed. "What hospital are you taking him?"

"UCLA Trauma," the medic replied as he slammed the back doors shut.

"We'll be right behind you," Charlie responded, watching as the EMT nodded as he climbed into the rig. Charlie, never feeling more helpless, watched as the ambulance with lights and sirens blaring, took Alan Eppes from his much-loved home.

Watching until it turned out of sight, Charlie turned and ran back down the drive to his brother. Charlie was scared…no, terrified, at the image before him. Don had remained motionless in the very spot where he had been as the paramedics worked on their father. His pale face was covered in tears, as Charlie approached he could just make out the shaking of his big brother's shoulders. Charlie knelt in front of Don and spoke gently. "Don, we need to follow dad to the hospital." Getting no reaction from Don, Charlie timidly shook his bother's arm. "Don? Donnie?" Speaking the name only his father could ever get away with got Don's attention as he finally looked at Charlie. "We need to go, now!"

Charlie had never seen his brother so-out of control. Realizing it was up to him to get them to the hospital, Charlie quickly got his brother to his feet and lead him down the drive toward Don's SUV. Though he wasn't used to driving something as large as Don's truck, he didn't have much of a choice as his own vehicle was currently parked in the FBI parking garage. Finally getting Don into the passenger seat, Charlie reached into his brother's jacket pocket to retrieve the truck's keys. Quickly rounding to the driver's side, Charlie climbed in, started the engine and carefully maneuvered the SUV out of the driveway, headed toward the hospital. He drove with one eye on Don and one on the road, hoping and praying that they would find their father alive when they got there.

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Arriving at the hospital Charlie parked the large vehicle in a spot designated for law-enforcement personnel, hoping with the visible lights on the dash and government tags, he wouldn't have any problems. Don seemed to comeback to himself enough to exit the truck with Charlie, though he hadn't said a word on their way there. Charlie had kept stealing glances at his brother on the drive, his own mind not really processing anything past what he had seen in the yard and the focus to get both Don and himself to the hospital.

Walking through the ER doors both men made their way to the registration desk. Charlie spoke first, "Our Dad, Alan Eppes, was just brought in, could you tell us where he is?" Charlie laid his hand on Don's shoulder as he noticed his brother leaning heavily on the desk. They watched as the clerk typed in Alan's name.

"The doctors are still with him. Please have a seat and someone will be out shortly to speak with you." The clerk pointed in the direction of the waiting area. Silently Don and Charlie made their way to the waiting area. It was crowded for this early in the day, but they managed to find two empty chairs in the back corner of the room. As they approached, Don sank heavily into the uncomfortable faux-leather chair.

Charlie observed his brother's features. Though some of his color had returned to his face, the fear and despair were very much evident in his dark brown eyes. Charlie also noticed the shaking had stopped, except for the occasional shudder. Sitting next to his brother Charlie spoke quietly, "Don?"

Don had leaned back, tilting his head against the wall, closing his eyes. "God, Dad." He barely whispered. Not really knowing what to say, Charlie reached over placing his hand on his brother's forearm, who without looking raised his own hand to cover his little brother's. And so began the Eppes' boys wait.

It had been nearly thirty minutes since they had arrived at the hospital, and there was still no word on their father's condition. Don's cell phone vibrated on his hip. Jumping slightly, Don glanced at Charlie as he reached for it. Without looking at the caller ID he flipped it open with his ingrained automatic response. "Eppes."

"Hey Don," David's voice filtered over the line, "did Charlie find that file yet? We thought you guys were gonna be right back?"

Don's eyes closed, his hand shook slightly as he opened them again, meeting Charlie's eyes. "David." Don all-but whispered, his voice breaking as he uncharacteristically handed the phone to Charlie; he just couldn't talk to anyone at the moment. David's almost-frantic voice calling for his team leader could be heard as Charlie took the phone from his brother.

"D…David?" Charlie spoke, trying to control the tremors in his own voice.

"Charlie?! What's wrong? You guys all right?" Charlie could just make out Megan and Colby's concerned voices in the background asking what was wrong.

"David it's…it's Dad. We're at UCLA Trauma Center." Charlie watched as his big brother leaned forward; head in his hands, staring at the floor.

"Charlie, we're on our way, okay?" Charlie could tell David was trying to keep his voice even, but could only imagine what they were thinking.

"Yeah, okay David," with that Charlie closed the phone handing it back to Don. "They're coming." Nodding his head Don replaced the phone on his hip as he met Charlie's eyes.

"I'm, I'm sorry Charlie. I just can't get past Dad…" Don's voice trailed off. He normally hated to show emotional weakness, but his mind was still in such a state of shock. Clearing his throat he spoke again, "Charlie, you okay?" Don put his hand on his little brother's knee, but before Charlie could answer a doctor emerged from the trauma unit doors.

"Family of Alan Eppes."

Don and Charlie made their way toward the doctor as Don spoke. "I'm Don Eppes, this is my brother Charlie. How is our dad?"

"Please follow me," the doctor replied, turning toward the far end of the hall. The two family conference rooms were occupied. The doctor really hated to talk to patient's families in the hall, but sometimes if was necessary, so he lead them to the far end, nearer the nursing station, further from the waiting room. The three men stopped as the doctor turned to face Don and Charlie. "Your father has suffered a massive coronary." The doctor watched as disbelief crossed both men's faces.

"No…no," Don started shaking his head. "That's not possible. Dad doesn't have any heart problems, he's never sick." Don had taken a step back from the doctor, his back brushing the wall behind him.

Charlie found his voice, "How is that possible?"

"I'm sorry," the doctor continued. "I don't have all the answers. All I can tell you is what we know for sure."

"He's going to be okay though, right? Even, even if he needs surgery he could still recover, right?" Charlie was pleading for the doctor's response to counter the expression on his face; an expression that told a story Charlie didn't want to accept.

"I'm sorry, the damage is too extensive. We've placed him on a ventilator and he is currently hooked to an external pacemaker that is trying to assist in getting his heart to beat in a more regular manner, but we are unable to control the irregular beats. At this point all we can do is make him comfortable, I'm truly sorry." The doctor could see fear and anger pass over the eldest man's face. Unfortunately the doctor had seen this many times working in the trauma unit of a busy metropolitan hospital and it never got easier.

"What!" Don's voice was near a shout, causing others in the hall to look up. "Are you telling us that…" Don's voice broke as he looked at Charlie, tears streaming down his face. Charlie understood what the doctor was saying, but his own heart didn't want to accept what was being said. Don choked, "…that our dads going to die?" Charlie raised a hand to his mouth, stifling the cry that threatened to escape as Don spoke the words, making them real.

The doctor spoke quietly, "There isn't any more we can do. We are currently moving him to a private room, I'll send a nurse out shortly to bring you back to sit with him. Again I am truly sorry." With that the doctor left the Eppes boys standing, staring at his retreating back.

Don just wasn't able to get his mind around this: his father, the rock of the family, his hero was going to die. He wasn't ever again going to walk through the front door of his much-loved Craftsman home, never prepare one of his famous, home-cooked meals again, there would never again be any of the good-natured pestering for grandchildren with which both he and Charlie were so familiar.

"Don?" Charlie's quiet voice brought Don from his thoughts. Tear-filled eyes met tear-filled eyes as the realization of what was happening started sinking in. Don felt his knees grow weak as he felt himself sliding down the wall. "Don!" Charlie grabbed his brother's shoulder, helping ease him down.

Don then, uncharacteristically, pulled his little brother to him. "Charlie." His voice choked as sobs racked his body. Feeling his brother start shaking in his arms, Charlie too wrapped his arms around his brother and in the hallway of a busy emergency room only a few people took notice as the brothers cried.

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All the way to the hospital the rest of Don's team had no idea how to prepare themselves for what they would find out at the hospital. David had tried to explain the sound of their team leader's voice, then the almost-hollow sound of Charlie's. Entering the lot they were quickly able to spot Don's SUV. Fortunately there was an open spot next to it so the three agents parked and exited their own vehicle, quickly making their way into the ER. David was making his way toward the reception desk with Megan close behind, when Colby's quiet voice stopped them.

"Guys."

Megan made a strangled cry as she brought her hand to her mouth. Tears quickly formed at the sight of Don and Charlie sitting on the floor at the end of the hall, seemingly clinging to one another for dear life. Megan, David and Colby slowly made their way down the hall, to the two men on the floor. Megan knelt next to Charlie, gently touching his back, "Charlie?"

Slowly Charlie turned his head; the devastation was so clear on his face that it took the breath of the hardened, experienced agents. "Megan." Charlie's voice was full of emotion, breaking Megan's heart. Don looked up; his expression mirrored his brother's as fear of what was happening passed through each agent.

"God Charlie…he's not?" Megan's felt herself shaking.

"Massive heart attack." Charlie whispered.

Colby turned from the group at those words. That had been what had happened with his dad. _"Dear God don't let this be happening to Alan, to Don and Charlie." _ Colby brought his hand to his eyes, feeling tears stinging behind them.

"They can only make him comfortable." Charlie looked at his brother as he again felt him shudder. David stood in silence, no words coming to his mind. How could the man who had become almost a surrogate father to him go from being the picture of health for a man his age to dying with no warning?

Charlie felt Don trying to get up so he quickly rose and with David's assistance pulled Don to his feet. Megan moved in giving both Charlie, then Don a tight hug. Colby was the first to notice the approaching nurse. "Eppes family?"

Don cleared his throat, "Yes."

"Please follow me." She turned, Don and Charlie fell into step behind her. They had only gone a few feet when Don realized his team was not following them.

He walked back to them as Charlie and the nurse stopped. "Please," Don reached taking Megan's hand, "you guys come too." Megan made to protest but Don stopped her. "Dad, thought…he thought of you guys as his adopted kids--please." He pleaded his point with a squeeze of Megan's hand. She nodded, tears falling down her face. Don gave a grateful nod as he released her hand, making his way back to Charlie's side. The five silently followed the nurse to spend the last hours of Alan Eppes' life as a family.

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The nurse led the group to the room at the furthest end of the ER. There were just a few rooms in the unit with doors. Those near the entrance were the emergency trauma rooms; next came the curtained off sections, then finally these last few rooms. As she opened the door, allowing the group to move in, Don felt the urge to protest that it wasn't his father lying in that bed. Alan Eppes was as pale as the sheets that covered him, a ventilator sounding, forcing another breath into his still chest. The heart monitor would pick up irregular readings; frequently causing a nearby machine to activate, leveling out the reading for a beat or two then the irregularity would return.

"The doctor will be in shortly," the nurse spoke quietly. "You may stay as long as you wish. Is there anyone you would like us to contact for you?" The sympathy in her voice was genuine.

"I…I don't…" Charlie couldn't complete his thought as he followed Don to their father's side.

David turned to the nurse. "We'll take care of it, thank you." The nurse nodded, leaving the room. David, Megan, and Colby watched the Eppes family, not wanting to believe themselves that the person in the bed before them was Alan; the same man who at first glance could convey an imposing figure, but once you got to know him was really just a teddy bear of a man.. They watched as Don and Charlie approached either side of the bed, each gently taking one of their father's hands.

"I'm going to call the AD, let him know what is happening." David spoke in a whisper, not wanting to distract Don or Charlie. "Megan?" David met her eyes, "What about Larry? Amita?" He glanced at Charlie as he spoke.

Taking a deep breath, quickly rubbing her eyes, Megan sighed. "I'll call him. I'll have him find Amita too."

David nodded as he looked over at his partner, who had remained silent since they had found Don and Charlie in the hall. "Colby?" David knew it was a heart attack that had claimed Colby's father when he was a kid and could only imagine what memories this was bringing back to the junior agent.

"I'll stay with them." Colby didn't meet David's eyes as he nodded slightly toward Don and Charlie's direction. Without saying a word David squeezed Colby's shoulder as Megan and he stepped from the room to make their needed phone calls.

At Alan's side Don reached a shaking hand to his father's cheek. He had never noticed how soft the skin beneath his figure tips was as he stroked Alan's face, much as Alan had on the occasions that Don had been sick as a child and needed comfort. At the same time on the other side of the bed Charlie was rubbing his father's arm. Neither could find a voice as they listened to the machines keeping their father alive.

Almost thirty minutes had passed by the time another doctor came into the room. David and Megan had returned from making their calls. David informed Colby and Megan that the AD was going to assign their cases to another team for now and that they had permission to stay with Don and Charlie as long as was needed. Megan had gotten in touch with Larry who was in the process of tracking down Amita and would come to the hospital as soon as possible. Seeing the five people in the room as he entered the doctor approached the two closest to the bed. "Don, Charlie Eppes?" Both men turned toward the doctor. "I'm Dr. Aarons, my colleague worked on your father when he first arrived. Did he explain to you what was happening?"

Don's voice was pleading, wanting this man to tell this something could be done, that his father wasn't dying. "He said it was a massive heart attack. How is that possible? He's never had any problems, never been sick."

The doctor replied, knowing the family before him wanted answers he wasn't able to give. "Unfortunately that is how things like this happen sometimes. Some people have symptoms, some don't."

Charlie's voice broke the silence this time. "Are sure there isn't something that can be done?"

Wishing he could work miracles for families such as this one, the doctor knew the hard reality, that no matter how much medical knowledge was out there, you can't help everyone. "I wish there was. The EKG and ultrasound we performed just showed too much damage to the heart muscle. The most we can do is what we are doing, keeping him comfortable. There is another matter I need to discuss with you both." This time Don and Charlie turned their complete attention to the doctor. "Our staff didn't find it until we had already taken steps to sustain his life, but your father has a DNR order as well as a Living Will on file with this hospital. Did either of you know about that?"

"I didn't!" Charlie spoke, somewhat surprised.

Don looked at his brother. "After mom…" Don continued softly, "After mom, dad told me had done that."

"He…you didn't tell me?" A touch of anger was heard in Charlie's voice.

"It was shortly after mom. Once everything started to get back to…normal…" Don stumbled on the word _normal, _not wanting to bring up those painful months before and after their mother's death.

Charlie didn't want to be angry, he knew his family had gone through a lot with their mother's illness and his withdrawal, he would always regret not having been any help at that time. Charlie could see how his father may have wanted to take care of something's, to spare either of his son's from having to make those difficult decisions that he had to with Margaret. Charlie just didn't want to accept what was happening. He raised his hand to his eyes and inhaled a deep, but shaky breath. "Okay, I know what a DNR is. The Living Will, what is that?"

"In essence it states your father didn't want to be kept alive by artificial means," Dr. Aaron spoke.

Don had known this, but hearing it took his breath. He knew Charlie was just learning about the

Living Will, but even with Don himself knowing of it, it didn't make it any easier. The thought of turning off the machines that were keeping his father alive made him sick to his stomach.

The doctor studied the two men before him, knowing this was a difficult time. "When you are ready, we can start complying with your father's wishes. Please, I know this is a very difficult time, but understand, with your father having done this he was actually trying to make it easier for you both. I'll give you both some time." With that the doctor left the room.

David, Megan and Colby had stood in silence, listening to what the doctor had just said. They each were having a difficult time with this; of course, not so much as Don and Charlie. Alan had indeed been like a father to each of them; imparting his wisdom and words of advice at just the right times. They had each also seen numerous occasions when Alan was the only voice of reason in dealing with the strong opposing wills of Don and Charlie.

"Don, we…" Charlie's voice broke the silence as he stared at his brother. Don saw fear in his little brother's eyes; the same fear he was sure was reflected in his own. "…we can't…please." Charlie felt his breath catch as it was finally , as if just breaking through, hitting him that the next time he went home it would forever be without his father. Don crossed the room and pulled his brother into a hug. Don had some how gotten past the initial shock of all that was happening as it was now seeming to sink in on Charlie.

"I know Charlie, I know." Don whispered as it was now his turn to comfort his brother. "We need to do what dad wanted. Dad's too active to want this." Don continued to whisper as he felt his brother nod in his arms.

"Doesn't make…easy." Charlie gasped, his breath shuddering.

"I know." They stood, for several seconds, in a desperate clinch--to hell with not being a hugging family. After a few moments they pulled back from one another and returned to their spots on either side of their father. A short time later Larry and Amita were shown in by the nurse. Amita quickly made her way to Charlie's side, a sob escaping as she took in Alan's still form. Larry also approached, hugging his friend as Amita made her way to Don, offering a hug of support. After a few moments of quiet conversation they too joined David, Megan and Colby in the corner of the room, offering silent support to Don and Charlie.

The doctor returned a short time later. Don looked up as the man entered. "Charlie," Don called quietly. Charlie gave a glance at the doctor, then met his brother's eyes, silently nodding and only mouthing an 'okay'. Don turned to the doctor and nodded himself; he couldn't bring himself to say the words. The doctor acknowledged the acceptance by stepping to the door and motioning the nurse who was standing nearby to come in.

"Do we…do we have to leave?" Charlie choked out.

"No." The doctor's voice was calm as he and the nurse moved Alan's bed out a bit from the wall, so they could work from the head. "We are just going to start removing the equipment. It may take a few minutes before it's over." Charlie nodded as he looked across at his brother, tears starting anew from each of their eyes, while at the same time he felt Amita's hand slip into his.

Don looked over at his team. "Guys, please." He motioned for them to join them near the bed. Alan had been such a big part of their lives as well. Megan stood nearest to Don, taking his hand, her other holding fast to Larry's. David and Colby, with Amita next to Charlie, completed the semi-circle around the bed.

The doctor and nurse set about removing the medical equipment. The first thing the doctor removed was the ventilator. He quickly extracted the tube from Alan's mouth, giving his family an unobstructed view of his face. A sob was heard from Amita as she looked at the man who would have hopefully become her father-in-law; he looked as if he was sleeping. She felt Charlie squeeze her hand. Next the machine that had been trying regulate Alan's heart beats was switched off. The monitor continued with the irregular beats for a short time until the low whining sound of the heart it was monitoring stopped and the nurse hit the mute button on the monitor, before also switching it off.

Megan felt Don squeeze her hand and he whispered, "Dad."

Don was the first to move as he removed his hand from Megan's and brought both of his hands up, gently taking his father's face, kissing his forehead. "I love you Dad," he quietly spoke, "tell Mom hi." When he straightened up he turned toward Megan who held him tightly.

Charlie leaned in also kissing his father's forehead, whispering. "Love you." He then turned, embracing Amita.

Larry, David and Colby stood in silence as the man who was not only a father-figure for two of them but a friend to all three, left this world to join his wife in the next.

Don pulled from Megan making his way toward his brother. "Buddy." The emotion in his voice was heavy as again the brothers clung to one another, both letting go the tears that would have escaped anyway. After several minutes they knew it was time to go. Again the boys approached their father, each again whispering their goodbyes. The nurse informed them that their father also had a contact number for a funeral home and that the hospital would call and arrange for his transfer. Thanking her Don and Charlie, followed by Larry, Amita, David, Megan and Colby, left the hospital, heading back to the house Charlie owned but would always feel like _Dad's._

_A/N: I wanted to thank FraidyCat again for her wonderful Beta service. Also for all of you reading, there will be a final chapter to this story in the near future. Again Thank you all for your support, it means so much._


	3. Chapter 3

How Did It Come To This?

By: Montez

Part-3

_A/N: First I just want to say I am overwhelmed. I don't have the words to thank each and every one of you wonderful people who have read and reviewed this story. I am glad I am hitting the emotion in people that I was reaching for. This was written from my heart, though I have not lost a parent, my father-in-law passed four-years ago, rather suddenly and I saw what my husband went through. I also drew some of it from watching my own parents go through loosing there own parents; my mother lost both of hers in the span of four months. I have found as I grow older I worry more about my parents, and the way I wrote this, especially the first chapter, is a fear I have. THANK YOU all again for your reviews and support. You all are amazing!--Montez_

The next few days were a blur. Upon learning their father had taken care of everything, it left Don and Charlie with nothing to do but accept people's condolences and grieve. Charlie had asked his brother to stay at the house and Don did, though at first it was difficult walking through the place, expecting to hear Alan's voice from the next room.

They had each been unable to enter the back yard so David and Colby took it upon themselves to clear away the remnants left by the EMTs and to put away the over-turned ladder. They were never able to determine why Alan may have been on the ladder to start with, but it would not have changed the outcome. Larry assisted them in finding the food for the Koi and then by taking care of the fish pond for a few days.

Megan and Amita had made it their mission to make sure that both Don and Charlie ate. Knowing how both men were when they had other things on their minds, they wanted to make sure they didn't neglect themselves in their grief. So the first few days after Alan's death passed.

The morning of the funeral Don asked David to take him to his apartment to get his black suit. Upon returning Don did what he had done out of habit since he was a teenager; he placed his keys on the table near the door and sorted through the mail. Someone had been gathering it in the last few days, but as Don hadn't left the house and apparently Charlie hadn't gone through it, Don found himself flipping absently amongst the envelopes and magazines. Don never received mail at his brother's house, but he was never questioned by his father or brother as to why he investigated the collection anyway. As he placed another piece of mail he had picked up into a separate pile his movements froze as he reached for the next-an envelope addressed to him. He picked it up and noticed a similar one underneath it with Charlie's name on it. His heart had started racing as he recognized the writing on each envelope, only to have it verified as he looked at the return address: A. Eppes.

"CHARLIE!" Don's hands began shaking as he noted the postmark date; it was the day their father had died. "CHARLIE!"

At his brother's panicked yell, Charlie came flying down the stairs with Amita close behind. Megan and Larry rushed in from the kitchen at the distressed sound of Don's voice. "What? Don are you okay?" Charlie took in his brother's pale appearance and the shaking of his hands as Don continued to stare at the envelopes he held. "Don?" Charlie touched his brother's arm; tear-filled eyes met his gaze. Megan, Larry and Amita watched as Don handed one of the envelopes to Charlie.

"It's…it's from Dad." Don's voice, just above a whisper, broke.

"What?" Charlie stared at what Don had just handed him, immediately recognizing his father's writing.

"Look at the postmark," Don added, as he slowly started making his way past his brother, toward the living room.

"Oh God," Charlie gasped.

"Charlie?" Amita questioned as she lightly touched Charlie's arm.

"The day…It's marked the day dad died." Charlie, lost in his examination of the envelope, allowed his feet to carry him; not toward his brother in the living room, but toward the kitchen. Amita followed Charlie as Larry and Megan stayed near the living room watching Don.

They watched as he slowly turned the envelope over, almost as if he was handling a fragile piece of glass, and slowly opened the seal. His hand went to his mouth as he silently read:

_Donnie,_

_I know what you're thinking; _'what's up with dad?'_ Here I'm writing you a letter when I could easily call you. I just felt compelled to write to you. You always go through the mail (don't think I don't notice), but you never get anything, so I thought I'd send you a letter._

_First off, no, nothing is wrong with me; isn't it okay for a father to write his son? Yes, you know I worry about you. You have such a dangerous job and I'm sure what you don't tell me is even scarier than what you do tell me. But do you know in what I take comfort? You're good at your job and you have surrounded yourself with others who are as good at theirs as you are at yours. (You remember to tell them that sometimes.) _

_I know it wasn't easy for you in your brother's shadow. I worried for so long that in some way your mother and I failed you by having to spend so much time and energy with Charlie, but I've come to see it's what helped make you into the man you are. I know you got frustrated and yes, even angry, (don't think I didn't notice--I'm your father). Your brother had things come to him much easier, but you made the best out of a tough situation and as I said, it made you who you are._

_Always remember you are a very intelligent, very capable man. Don't ever doubt that. Even though I was upset at the time when you told us you were joining the FBI (G-man!), I've come to see how much of a difference you've made. I worry about you when you have tough cases, but I see that spark in your eyes when you finally close the case and get the bad guy. It's not a spark of pride in yourself, but of satisfaction in making a difference. _

_What I don't know is if you see the pride in my eyes when I see what you've accomplished. I am VERY PROUD OF YOU SON! I may not say it enough, but I am. I always have been and always will be, don't you ever forget that._

_It warms my heart to have watched you and your brother reconnect and grow close again. I worried about that for a long time too, but in my heart I knew you'd find each other again._

_I just wanted to let you know of my pride in you and to tell you that I LOVE YOU. I know it's never said enough, but always remember I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!_

_Dad_

Don's breath caught in his throat as a strangled sob escaped his mouth. His knees gave out as he dropped to the floor. Megan rushed to his side. "Don?" Her heart broke as she felt him cling to her as waves of sobs racked his body. Megan glimpsed the last line of Don's letter as she held him tight, tears flowing from her own eyes, as the loss was truly felt by Don Eppes.

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Charlie had unconsciously made his way to the garage, Amita followed. It had been the first time since that day he had been in the yard, but he was so absorbed in the envelope in his hand he didn't notice. He sat heavily on the battered sofa, as he opened the envelope and pulled the letter from within.

_Charlie,_

_I was just compelled to write this, no logic involved. I just watched you leave out the back door, heading off to help your brother. You know I worry about you, it's a parent's right (if I ever get those grandchildren you'll see). I worried as you were growing up that your mother and I sheltered you too much. Once your gift was discovered, we wanted you to have every opportunity to nurture that gift, sometimes at the expense of doing things kids your own age were doing. Sometimes we didn't think past your education and I'm sorry about that. As you grew older you were in such advanced classes you really didn't have anyone your own age to confide in._

_I know you were always closer to your mother; she understood you much better then I was able. I have since gotten a glimpse of the way you see things and that has helped me understand you better. I know since her death you worried that having gotten lost in your numbers, at the end, hurt your mother. She understood you, how your mind worked, how you coped with things. She loved you very much and understood once you worked through your numbers you would be able to accept what was happening to her. Son, she understood. It took me a little longer, but I eventually did too._

_I want you to understand it never affected how I felt about you. For all my worry and concern you have grown into a fine young man. Someone who sees the best in people and does everything possible to help others. I'M PROUD OF YOU._

_I know you and your brother had your rough times, but it has meant so much to me to see you both grow close again. I see how much you enjoy working with your brother, I also see how much he enjoys working with you. I know that is hard for you to see, but I'm your father; I notice these things._

_As I said, I'm very proud of the man you have become. I also want to say what I feel I never say enough, I LOVE YOU. I always have and I always will love you son, remember that._

_Dad_

Tears silently streamed down Charlie's face as Amita moved next to him. He leaned into her as she put her arms around him. She held him as he silently cried, for the father he'd never see again.

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A while later Charlie and Amita made their way back into the house; they needed to finish getting ready for the funeral. Charlie silently climbed the stairs, pausing at his brother's slightly opened door. He saw his brother adjusting his tie in the mirror. Charlie knocked lightly as he slowly pushed the door open. Charlie noted his brother's eyes were red and puffy, much like his own.

"Hey Buddy." Don turned, walking up to his brother, pulling him into a hug. "You okay?" Don pulled back looking into his little brother's face.

"About as okay as you." Charlie attempted a lop-sided smile that didn't reach his eyes. Don nodded, conceding to his brother's comment. Who is ever okay on the day of a parent's funeral? As Don stepped back toward the mirror, Charlie cleared his throat. "Will you stay for a while?"

"Yeah, sure." Don looked questioningly at his brother. He had been staying at the house, so the question seemed a little unnecessary.

"Don, I mean… will you move back here for a while? I just need…" Charlie felt foolish admitting he didn't want to be alone in the house.

"You sure?" Don almost sounded relieved. The last couple of days since he had been staying over, made him want to stay longer. It wasn't only the comfort the house seemed to bring, but being close to his brother that was helping as well. It was something he felt in his heart he needed, but was afraid to ask.

"Yeah I'm sure…I like you being here." A spark of hope flashed in Charlie's eyes.

"Okay, we'll talk more about it later." Don got a mischievous glint in his eyes, "Like what I should do when Amita's over."

Charlie allowed an embarrassed smile to cross his face. "We'll think of something…I…I've got to get ready." Charlie exited the room, a bit of the heaviness leaving his heart knowing he wouldn't lose his brother, now that their father was gone. Charlie knew what his father had written in his letter rang true. He and his brother had grown closer, and for that Charlie was eternally grateful.

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A couple of days after the funeral Don's team returned to work. He requested an additional couple of weeks off as Charlie and he were working on moving Don back into their childhood home. They agreed to leave their father's room as it had been, at least for now. They then set about getting Don's old room set up, storing what Don wanted to keep and didn't have room.

The night they finally got everything situated they each took a beer and went to sit on the back porch. It would take them each a while for the image of that day to fade, if it ever did, but slowly they made an effort to enjoy the backyard as their father had done.

"You know sometimes I think I hear dad out here." Charlie spoke quietly, hoping his brother didn't think he was crazy.

"Yeah, me too. I've even checked." Don glanced at his little brother, no doubt worrying the same thing.

"I hope we don't lose that. I hope we can always feel him around, just like with mom. I still feel her sometimes." Charlie took a long drink.

"Me too. Hey, I'm glad you asked me to move back. I feel better when I'm here." Don took his own drink.

"Good. Hey…" Charlie sat up in his chair. "How about we have everyone over? Maybe have a cook-out?"

"Sounds good Buddy, just as long as you don't cook." Don smiled at his brother's mock surprise.

"Geez, burn the ribs once and it's never forgotten," Charlie commented.

They both laughed out loud as Alan and Margaret watched from the Koi pond.

"They'll be okay." Alan stated, bringing his wife's hand to his lips.

"We always knew they would be." Margaret brought her other hand up to caress her husband's cheek. They both glanced back toward the porch as laughter again erupted, then turned and faded into the night.

_A/N: Again thank you all for staying with me through this. Also, another loud shout-out to FraidyCat for being the wonderful, amazing Beta she is._


End file.
